As promised, here is the continuation of the first post about Ctrain girl.
After the first encounter, I figured I would never see this girl again. Knowing I failed in epic fashion by giving a cute girl a High 5 rather than ask for that dinner.
The next day I get on the Ctrain, slightly earlier this time. As I was waiting, I see her. We exchange pleasantries and talk about Christmas as it fast approaching.
We get on the train and continue talking and even laugh about the day before. yes, she also made a quip about the high 5 !
Within a few minutes my stop was coming, I smile and ask for her number…….
I am sorry, I do have a boyfriend. I was just having fun in the moment yesterday and you were funny and cute.
Damn ! FAIL ! I left the train but was ok. Who knows if she was lying. I mean after all I kinda missed the opportunity the day before.
Whether she was lying or telling the truth isn’t all that important. What is important is this…..
I realized I can be fun and charming. I am pretty cute, the looks decent wagon didn’t pass me by. I also realized that I have to take those chances even if it means rejection because I am absolutely worth it when the right woman crosses my path.
It’s all about confidence. Really, it is. Women love confident, not arrogant, but confident guys. I am awesome in my own way 🙂 I know this now.
Sometimes I have the funniest things happen and they can be so random and funny……I shared this story on my personal Facebook page in January of this year.
Here in Calgary, I work downtown. I must take the Ctrain ( light rail transit) into work and home. There are so many things that can happen in a 12 min ride and sometimes it happens to me.
It was shortly after 4:00 pm, I was on my way home and slid my small frame into a very packed and squished Ctrain. So packed that you were rubbing various body parts onto others.
The Ctrain stopped quickly and in front of me was cute young lady. As it stopped our positions essentially placed me right up against her, her body pressed into mine and into the side of the train.
This could be awkward right ?
I looked at her and smiled as we were inches from each others faces and said ” Normally when I am this close to a woman, I have at least bought her dinner.” Her reply without pause was ” That wouldn’t be such a bad idea.” ( insert metal YES here !)
Umm… what ? I was trying to make the situation light then she makes that comment and the second she was done, my brain went to mush.
We chatted a bit, laughed about the situation then came my stop. As I left I said ” Nice to meet you and did something NO MAN should ever do……
I gave her a High 5 and walked away.
This, my friends may explain why I can’t get a date.
My friends had a heyday on facebook with comments. I am glad I can be a source of laughter for others. Some said, maybe I should have asked for her # or that this could be one of those “connections lost”. Some suggested I go on Craigslist to try and find this girl.
Well…..Going on Craigslist was not needed. Tomorrow I will share part two.
Great day today ! As I mentioned in my last post I have set a goal to meet 3 new people per week and learn a little about them.
Today, two little ladies blessed me by approaching me as I was taking a photo of this…..
As I was taking this photo two girls who were no older than 6 each said hello to me.
These girls were with their parents. What happened next was so awesome.
They immediately started showing me these little medals in their tiny cute hands.
So I knelt down in front them and asked what they were for and with excitement in their eyes and smiles on their faces they told me they won them at a skating event.
One of the girls won Gold while the other received a Bronze. They both had the same excitement, it seemed the color of the medal did not matter.
I asked the parents if I could take a photo. Due to privacy they did allow a pic of the girls hands with their medals brightly being displayed. The girls both were blonde, wearing pig tails in their hair and they wore the cutest Tu Tu’s. One was pink while the other was blue/green.
There was a lot of cuteness going on. Almost more than should be allowed ! The sight of their excitement in their eyes made my day.
The thing I loved most about meeting these two lovely ladies was their pure happiness, excitement and how much they wanted to show off their medals.
Sometimes in my life I know I forget to allow pure happiness to shine through.
These ladies taught me today that sometimes it is good to “brag” a little and share unbridled excitement over an achievement with anyone you may encounter.
Faith, excitement and energy…….something we can learn from Children.
Since my Heart Attack I have been a curious guy. I have become a huge observer when I am out in public.
In today’s world I see many people in crowded spaces, walking down the street or at dinner or events and so many people are stuck on their phones. Not really paying attention to the world around them but stuck in their little online worlds.
Now, in all fairness not everyone is as social as me and likes to strike up random conversations. I enjoy meeting people.
Lately I have thought about the stories behind the eyes pf people I do not know. I have also thought a lot about my own inability to have the courage sometimes to talk to someone who maybe I would not have before.
Sometimes its the homeless people I see daily or the buskers downtown or the pretty girl who may have smiled at me. It could be that business man rushing quickly to his next appointment. I want to, in the very least say hello and have a brief conversation and maybe ask for a photo for the project I am about to tell you about.
I have a goal of meeting three new people per week and actually having a real conversation. I hope to go beyond the basic questions we all ask. I kinda wanna know about peoples aspirations, dreams, fears, or even a real answer to ” How is your day going ?” I hope to share these stories on my blog along with photos.
I expect a lot of rejection on this and expect I will have to approach numerous people just to get to YES. I will respect those that say no and engage those that say yes.
Tomorrow I will introduce the first person I met this past week.
How do you really explain the unexplainable ? I am becoming exhausted just trying. It’s a constant struggle.
I have been different since my heart attack and I totally get it. Part of it is the PTSD, part of it is the exhaustion from trying to make sense of all that goes on in my brain and part of it is trying to not allow myself to take on the problems of others as much as I use to.
So, with this post I am going to try my best to explain. I am not sure if it is for the clarification of others or for myself to understand better.
Recently more people have mentioned my change. A sampling of the things I have been told …. “you seem indifferent, spaced out, like you don’t care, less social, not as happy as you once were and my personal favorite- you’ve become a bit of an ass.
Ya, I am different now , It’s not that I don’t care. But I care less now about trivial things that can be dealt with if someone really wants to fix their problem. I care more about getting my life together.
There are days I am just trying to get through the day because I can’t clear my head out, nights I do not sleep for the same reasons. If you see me walking around like I am in my own world, there is a solid chance that is exactly what it is. I am pre occupied with my thoughts, not all negative. Many are of what I appreciate each day and week. For example, I can run again J
I can’t process thoughts or feelings well at all. This frustrates so many people around me and gets me into situations that leave me looking like an ass or that I absolutely do not care about the feelings of others. It causes me major lapses and errors in judgement. It allows people to put me in a corner that I have a hard time getting out of. So I just walk away and hide for a few days. I figure this way I don’t have to repeatedly explain the “Why” and keep myself out of uncomfortable situations . It is difficult to know you should be feeling something and yet, you can’t process it. Good luck catching me feeling empathy, anger, sadness and lately even being as excitable as usual. I just can’t and I don’t know when this will change.
I am becoming more into being alone and not being around people. There are many reasons for this but the main one being I don’t risk upsetting, hurting or pissing someone off unintentionally. I am doing this with a little more regularity and it is not intentional.
I hate using my heart attack as a reason but ultimately it is the reason I view everything differently now.
When my thoughts run rampant on any given night it can range from the good things of my day but more often than not they are about how lost I feel in my own world. Loneliness, lack of satisfaction in my ability to find a new job, how to move forward in my life, my love life or lack thereof, who are my friends and who is taking advantage of me. What I want for myself and how I need direction to get there.
I can’t be who I was. I am a different man now. I am adjusting to this new me. Please be patient as I am a work in progress but deep inside I am still here. I am indifferent, for now.
Tonight’s post is one I am sharing that I did as a guest post on my friend Sarah’s Blog. Sarah had two Widow Maker Heart Attacks at age 31. Her story and recovery is a great one. I encourage you to check her blog out at http://www.heartattackat31.blogspot.ca/
My Post at the beginning of Heart Month.
Thankful, so very Thankful.
Those are the first words I posted on my Facebook the night I found out I had gone into Cardiac Arrest during my surgery to place one of two stents in my blocked artery. This was 5 days after my Heart Attack. I still await a second surgery.
I am Mark, a heart attack survivor at an age where we all feel we are still invincible. I was 35, a runner, fairly healthy, ate decent ( we all have our vices), a former smoker, a guy with hypothyroidism and newly diagnosed with diabetes type 2. I did have some factors but I thought I lead a life that would counteract these. I was wrong.
“Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” – Carl Bard
My thoughts in that moment were about things unsaid to others and this is where being thankful begins for me.
Experiencing a Heart Attack at 35 years old or any age for that matter you have so much to be thankful for. Your life really has just begun and to have it taken almost taken away makes you appreciate what is to come. Good or Bad.
As I move forward in my new life, the words Thank you and I love you will be said a lot more. These are actually two of the hardest words in life for people to tell others and I sit here and wonder why. They can change so much around you
Today I am thankful for a second chance at life, the people who surround me, support me, the opportunities I now will take hold of and rock ! I am also thankful for being who I am, perfectly imperfect.
The oddest thing you may read here is that I am thankful for my heart attack. It taught me an invaluable lesson and after making more life changes I actually feel better physically than I have in years. It is amazing how much a blockage can make you feel ill.
As we head into Heart Month, I encourage you to talk about heart health, hug a friend, thank them for being in your life and tell them you love them. You may change their life and not even know it.