So many posts I could have done tonight but I have chosen this one for a reason.
This past week I was in Veradero Cuba to Photograph a wedding. The wedding of two friends I met through Reffing Hockey 3 1/2 years go.
This week could have gone in a couple directions and fortunately for me it went in the right direction. But before I say how or why I must give a little back story.
Since my Heart Attack last year I have been in many different social situations. Most I have felt a little out of place. No fault of my friends, I must clarify.
If I am to be honest here. I have almost preferred to be alone than around a group of people. I am not who I was and many times I have no idea how to portray who I am exactly now. Do I even know who I am ?
In a room full of people, I have felt lost. It is almost like for a time I forgot how to react or get involved in conversations. I forgot how to be social. It’s not that people have secluded me. It more like I have secluded myself a bit.
I have always been the guy to try and find a place to really “fit in” My friends are a Cornucopia of different groups and I wouldn’t necessarily say I fit into any one certain group. I have always kinda been this way. I adapt to the situation or group I am with. Usually with success.
Since my Heart Attack…..
Not so much. Social anxiety, feeling like you are being watched when in fact you are not. Strange, I know but these are my thoughts.
Now back to Cuba….
I knew a fair amount of people attending this wedding but it still could have been a lonely time for me. They are family. I am a friend there to do a job. I am not even a close friend but a friend there…. to Photograph a Wedding.
What happened in Cuba is more than I could ask for.
Not even once did I feel alone, secluded or like an outsider. I felt like a part of the group. I was included in the activities such as the Jack and Jill party, a few dinners, pool time, late night Ocean swimming, dancing against my will ( Thanks Kailee and Riley !) I was joked with, laughed at and with.
You know people like you when they harass you a little. Or a lot, haha
I could have been left to my own devices and yes there were times I was on my own but by choice really. People invited me to hang out to let loose and have fun.
I was like I belonged from the start. No awkwardness. No having to try to hard to be liked.
This resulted in great conversations and meeting new people and a few wobbly pops and a lot of laughing.
What did I learn?
Just Be Me.
People can like me for whoever I am now, even if I am not 100 % unsure of exactly who that is.
Dance against your will my friends, you may just tear up the floor and genuinely have a moment of joy unexpectedly.