August 11, 2015. This day, I celebrated me and 2 years of life post heart attack. I wanted to be alone this day because it is my day, for me.
So how do I share a day so personal to me ? A day in which I think about the previous year and my growth. I also begin to think about how I envision the coming year.
So what did I do ?
I started this day by visiting the beach court where I had my Heart Attack. I sat alone for a while in thought….surrounded by kids playing at a day camp around me. I smiled as these kids played tag, threw dodgeballs at each other and had sand fights. Then it came to me…..sorta. Seeing all of this around me gave me a Happy Heart 🙂
Now, before I continue…..I used the hastag #happyheart for the day but #happyheart is not my original idea. For this, I give credit to my heart sister Sarah Klena from http://heartattackat31.blogspot.ca/. She created T shirts this year to raise money for American Heart Association. Ultimately that hashtag was created by her and I will give credit where it is due. I think about #happyheart a lot since Sarah first brought it forward.
So, after I took the photo below, I posted it to Facebook and asked my friends to share with me their stories that made gave them a #happyheart. I would read these at the end of my day when I returned to social media.
Now, I will get back to this in a moment.
My Heataversary is like my New Years minus any drinking and kissing someone at midnight ( unless someone wants to join me in a kiss. )
The rest of my day was driving through Southern Alberta and stopping to take in the scenery. I wanted badly to just be alone. Alone to be with my thoughts and to go about my day with only having to worry about where or what I would do next. There was no direct plan other than to drive and take photos.
The photos above are from various points along the route I drove and places I stopped. Truth is, I did not think much for the first half the drive, I simply took in the scenery. Whether it was the vast fields, mountains in the distance or the various Horses, Sheep and Cows along the way. It was completely breathtaking and relaxing.
Then came the drive home and although earlier I had thought about the direction I hope to go in the coming year, another thoughts came to me.
You see, I have definitely grown in the last 24 months and come so far but one thing occurred to me. I still play things too safe and don’t take as many risks as maybe I should. I still play it safe. So then my mind wandered as to why.
The answer is not as simple as I thought. I thought I have been taking more chances the last 2 years and yes I have taken a couple BUT I still played it safe by not pushing myself to reach beyond what I think are my limitations and in matters of the heart. I won’t go into too much detail as this is a little personal for now but I will say this……
I NEED TO STOP BEING SO AFRAID OF NOT BEING QUITE GOOD ENOUGH.
I NEED TO MAKE A MOVE
I NEED TO TAKE HARD STEPS
I NEED TO TRY EVEN MORE
I NEED TO BE OK WITH MAKING MISTAKES
BECAUSE ALL OF THIS MEANS……I AM BEATING MY OWN FEARS.
The drive home passed quickly with no stops for photos and although I was deep in thought, I was actually happy. Happy because, if you remember at the beginning of this post I said I wanted to be alone.
Somewhere along that highway I realized I wanted to be with friends, I really wanted to be around people to end my day. Lucky for me, my team had a dodgeball game that night. I had planned to skip the game to be alone, I honestly did not want people to see me at all. I am thankful that I changed my mind.
That game was our first win of the season, it was a fun game and I felt completely in my element being with people I love being around, playing a sport I love. Playing the sport in which I was playing the day my heart attack occurred. Kinda like slaying the demon in my head.
After the game we were invited to a our team mate Jesse’s place for a BBQ and a Beer. I had declined this invite a few times actually but eventually decided to go. BEST DECISION !
Ending my day with these amazing people was the perfect ending to a great day. A day of celebration, reflection and just being one with myself, nature and in the end, my friends.
I am thankful for life, thankful for growth and I am thankful I get another shot at living every single day.
2 Years later I am thankful for my Heart Attack because it was my eye opener and my life line.
Celebrate life and make someone happy, make them smile because as a quote I read the other day said.
“If you have the power to make someone happy, do it. The world needs more of that. “
–Don’t know the author.-
Happy Heartaversary to me 🙂 Here is to many more !!